So i went to get some sushi for lunch the other day, after not eating to well over the prior few days due to a combination of anxiety and excitement. So i roll into my spot near work, and its crowded, more so then normal. I plan on taking out so im not to concerned. Im standing by the counter/ seating area and waiting for the dude working the register to finish so he can take me order. Hes kinda of all over the place, but its cool since its crowded it doenst seem to be an issue; take your time. After waiting about 5-10 miniutes a couple walks in ansd stands behind me, waiting in line ot be served. They were there for a minute before the register dude turned around and asked them if they were a larger then two party and started to make moves to seat them. Well NOW hevs Not happy, this is some bullshit, at the least its a rude oversight at worst this fucker is a bit of a racist, like my order and money isnt as good as a nice Caucasian couples, and im not even dark. So It was time to get LOUD, we needed to get to the bottom of this. “excuse me what im invisible ive been standing here for 10 minutes and weve made eye contact when i came in, im the biggest person in the resutrant you didnt miss me, why are these people getting served first?”
“Oh sorry Sir, my mistake”
“your dam right it is, in fact deal with them i dont want you taking my order or dealing with me, you blew it” . Luckily for him i recognized a waitress I deal with regularly or enough for her to recognize me and she came over and got me my food with a smile and warmth that save ole boy from getting a severe talking to that would have attracted the attention of all patrins and the bose. I don’t like to affect anyone’s livelyhood so even in times of horrid service i try and hold my tongue since we all need to eat, but treat me like were in the old south and you’re gonna bring out the stereo type your scared of; especially if my English is better then yours.
No Janet did NOT make it to finishing school. And as such she suffers from and inflated sense of self entitlement, which can be evidenced in her lack of common courtesy when in the company of others. This is why Janet is going to get aired out.
I got on to the train this morning, one i havent taken for the morning commute yet. It was a bit crowded, but i found a seat. I sat down, minding my business as I&I are known to do. As i settle in, and begin to adjust my ears to the train noise, I pick up the in the middle of a phone conversation, coming from the seat in front of me.
“yeah im getting dirty looks from people, but i can talk if I want to and Im not bother people.”
Ummm, clearly there are some signs youre missing lady. Reviewing your statement, ‘im getting dirty looks’, right there is a hint at contradicting the last portion of your statement, “im not bothering anybody”. May I suggest, Janet, that the dirty looks you are getting are NOT due to peoples extreme jealousy over the fact that you have a cell phone and they do not. No, I suggest that they may infact be bothered by having to suffer through your incredible shallow and frivolous conversation. There is a reason i don’t spend all day in the hen house Janet, the clucking in insufferable.
“im on the train, Ive already missed my first appointment”.
Do tell, Janet. How can someone with your superior respect for other peoples time and space manage to be late and miss an appointment? And Why is it that you aren’t actually calling the person you’ve stood up to apologize about missing the appointment? Nay, you’re clucking away to some friend providing live updates to god and country, on subjects of no interest to anyone other then Janet and friend of Janet.
WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAAAAAAT? Im on the train. ON THE TRAIN, THE TRAIN. Im OOOONNN the TRAAAAAINNA. The Train, Yes. The train.
How has our device culture degenerated so fast that we simple common courtesy is out of the question, and asking someone to mind the majority is next to blasphemy. Were a fucking selfish nation. Good job folks! Ill call you form the train to congratulate you all individually.
Tuesday afternoon i found myself on the E train heading to JFK. The E train sucks. the people on the e-train lack home training. A few high lights include but are not limited to; 40 minutes of repetitive gassing by someone in a serious intestinal battle, to the point the air took on a yellowed mustered gas hue. Ned the Nail clipper decided it was appropriate to clip his nails standing up in the middle of the car. What happened at home that you had to leave so fast to need to finish that portion of your grooming on the train? And how have your nail gotten so far away from you that they have reached the ‘these need to be cut right now regardless of my location’ stage?
E train, AirTrain, JFK NYC to Miami. American airlines also sucks, international and domestic flights all checking into a the same 4 tired over worked agent booths. lines of black hats, italians, hipsters, euro trash, Chipper Brits, angry americans (ill be in that category for this portion of the adventure), it was the noahs arc of travelers ready to be saved by the check in gods.
You’re already in a jackpot, he said. I’m tryin to get you out of it.
My Miami expectations were shattered, in sense they were the first victims of what seemed like a 6 day gauntlet run at avoiding jam-up after jam-up. I thought i was going to the land of beach bums and 4:30pm dinner specials. What i got was a Dead downtown, with vacancies out the ass, but the urgent need to continue massive amounts of construction on the edges of the city as if they were preparing for a mass migration i was unaware of. A booming vagrant community, only out numbered by the number of police patrol cars out and about. Miami PD would do well investing in oil futures. In NYC the police cars say “courtesy professionalism & respect” , were i to suggest a similarly ironic slogan for the Miami PD, “went green” comes to mind. Blocks and blocks of low rise housing projects, layed out but some drunk in the sun city planners that im sure planned the city on the beach with unequal parts Rum and left handed stick drawing in the sand by right handed individuals looking backwards into a shattered mirror. The Knaty has a GOOD sense of direction but even with I&iphone powered navigation we spent as much time in search of our destinations as we did at the destination. The journey was truely the trip and it took us in to all corners of the city save those the resembled any places ive ever been. In Hotel i saw on the news a burger King near us was robbed for the second time in as many weeks. When reached for comment the manager was quoted as saying,’ this time they had guns, last time it was only knives’. The next story was about a woman, also not far from us, who was gunned down in her idling car, by machine gun fire. In the process of her body being riddled with automatic gun fire her foot came off the brake and polcie arrived to a car drive in circles with a dead woman at the the wheel. So now im in the market to get a winter spot in miami. Did I mention while waiting for a friend to get some falafel I found i had inadvertently jack-potted myself into having front row seats to an 8 way tranny fight rivaling any jerry springer meets UFC in a WWF theatrical release intended for adult audiences only. To say the least i was stunned. To say a bit more i was confused and all of a sudden i regretted not paying attention in gender politics class. What is going on, is this assault or just a brawl involving costumes, my brain hurt trying to sort it out…There was at least one real woman involved, but she was huge and in no real danger of ending up on the losing side of any brutality, to the contrary she was handing out a sever ass whipping to a pretty stocking dude who it seemed threw the fisrt blow, at least ouside. The jackpot spilled out of the club. In fact as i was waiting on my my man to get his food there was what i thought was a hooker a door down form the food spot, basically inbetween the food spot and the club. Shelly thunder well call her, him as it may well be. At any rate shes posted up tossing he ass and hips around trying to catch anything with two legs walking by. Being amused at this slice of Miamica, i was watching. Shelly thunder saw me and tossed me an ass sashay. Your barking up the wrong tree here lady, im just here to take in the show, im audience not an actor, I thought. In my mind i was thinking it would be funny if she was hooking out side a gay club, she really would be barking up the wrong neck of the woods, little did i know i was about to find out it was a gay club of sorts, is at tranny club a gay club? shit i dont know how to classify it. anyway. Shelly thunder waltzed over the slip out of the club, where the bur-ha-ha was about to begin.
