Archive for the ‘rambling’ Category

Sushi Lunch and some racism or ig’nance.

Monday, February 15th, 2010

So i went to get some sushi for lunch the other day, after not eating to well over the prior few days due to a combination of anxiety and excitement. So i roll into my spot near work, and its crowded, more so then normal. I plan on taking out so im not to concerned. Im standing by the counter/ seating area and waiting for the dude working the register to finish so he can take me order.  Hes kinda of all over the place, but its cool since its crowded it doenst seem to be an issue; take your time. After waiting about 5-10 miniutes a couple walks in ansd stands behind me, waiting in line ot be served. They were there for a minute before the register dude turned around and asked them if they were a larger then two party and started to make moves to seat them. Well NOW hevs Not happy, this is some bullshit, at the least its a rude oversight at worst this fucker is a bit of a racist, like my order and money isnt as good as a nice Caucasian couples, and im not even dark. So It was time to get LOUD, we needed to get to the bottom of this. “excuse me what im invisible ive been standing here for 10 minutes and weve made eye contact when i came in, im the biggest person in the resutrant you didnt miss me, why are these people getting served first?”
“Oh sorry Sir, my mistake”
“your dam right it is, in fact deal with them i dont want you taking my order or dealing with me, you blew it” . Luckily for him i recognized a waitress I deal with regularly or enough for her to recognize me and she came over and got me my food with a smile and warmth that save ole boy from getting a severe talking to that would have attracted the attention of all patrins and the bose. I don’t like to affect anyone’s livelyhood so even in times of horrid service i try and hold my tongue since we all need to eat, but treat me like were in the old south and you’re gonna bring out the stereo type your scared of; especially if my English is better then yours.

Anyway while i cooled out i did a lil drawing.

Sushi lunch

Rich media you suck

Thursday, February 4th, 2010

Over the passed 5 days i have been trying to sort out how to make a particular type of rich media ad. Working with in the parameters of the ad vendor should be fairly easy. They have developed the ad type thus one would thing implementing it would be a piece of cake. Even if that piece of cake requires you to copy the code from a prior ad into  a new add so it has the same functionality. One would think that and one would be wrong.

Friday last a sent and email to Vendor X, saying. ‘ive copy/pasted your example code, can you look at it and tell me if its set up correctly?’

“thanks for your email we will have a look and get back to you this afternoon.”
Great, well get this thing sorted and be ready to move on to the next thing later today. As 530pm approaches and still no word, i try and take solace in the fact that maybe even though their area code is similar to mine, maybe just maybe they are not in office and thus have a different set of office ours so later today could mean tonight for me. I checked my again. Nothing. Time for a follow up email. Just checking up. At this point its the weekend IMO, 830-9pm I check my email. Yea new message in the inbox. Vendor no, full of apologies says issue will be sorted and a solution will be to us by Monday morning. Great. Weekend shit….

Now Monday rolls around, 9am, 10 am, 11am, no emails solutions. So its time to fire off an email again. Later that afternoon, we are alerted to the fact that vendor as passed issue on to the ‘tier 2 team’, oh shit son watch us work it out! Tuesday morning, 10, 11am, maybe ill shoot out another follow up email. Noon, my project manager send out an email inquiring about our previous inquiries. Sometime around 1pm Tuesday we get a vendor response, tier 2 will have a solution by EOD. Now im not holding my breath but, my middle name is Give-chances so were off to the races to wait for the race to resume. Surprising as it maybe EOD came and went with out and email from vendor.
We wont even bother to redundantly recap Wednesday, please see Tuesday and extrapolate.
Checking my work email first thing Thursday morning, inbox, i new message, form vendor, with attachment. There is one attachment even though i sent them two and need to parts to make the ad work. Not to worry lets have a look see. The email said Tier 2 had fixed some compile errors on line x,y,z blah blah. Ummmm the issue wasnt compile errors it was was the stucture set up in the right order and was the basic syntax correct. A monkey could press a button and have the program tell you how ot fix the errors, the email was talking about. Well that was annoying but lets have a look and see what was done. OH fuck i cant open the attachment as tier 2 saved it in a newer version of the app im working in. GREAT! I was able to have Preys open and resave the file backwards before Vendor could respond to my request for a older versioned file. So after 5 days of waiting i I open the file, so the email made no mention of solving my questions, but itll be in the file right? ummm as it turns out Not in the file at all. IN fact it seems that it took 5 days to change 1 set of Microsoft quotes into Unicode quotes, and the deletion of 3 orphaned open parentheses (”(“). What took 5 days all but amounted to 15 seconds of copy edit….
Im still waiting for my original question to be answered.

While there are a ton of awesome ads created by agencies using EyeBlaster Rich media services, the technical support provided by the Eyeblaster account team has been horrible. Not to mention that this is also a quick overview of their incompetence, it in no way shape or form details the extend to which they suck. Were i to attempt that, i would’ve mention the support call i arranged only to find that the support tech didn’t have the app we needed to use on their computer; I would also mention on the same call the seconds after the tech stated how straight forward all this was, she then went on to admit she hadn’t looked any of this code in a long time- even though i was told this was new ad type for them which suggests it hasn’t been around for a long time. Or she and i have terribly different views regarding time and its length… I wish viruses on all of their machines. I also wished this ad issue would have been sorted on Friday last, so i don’t hold much hope for the computers dying from some new computer virus…. So suffice it to say that Rich media you suck!

below is the sketchbook page thats been sitting under my keyboard for the last few days, Lots of spaghetti. Searching lines Divine Time. Doodle in your down time, and on conference calls. Theres nothing better then an 8 way project kick off call that really only requires two or three of those 8 or more people to actually discuss things while the rest of sit there uncomfortably listening to information that doesn’t in anyway affect what were gonna be doing after the call, which will waste 50 minutes but produce 3-5 minutes of actual business talk while the rest is nervous pleasantries and attempts at levity; How bout we sack the levity and get some brevity and so i can get back to work, thanks.

Searching Lines Divine Time

Mother skeme- “i dont doodle”
Skeme- “you DOOO doodle”

Hev- “with all due respect, Mother skeme, heavylox also doodles”

***PROOF reading is for Pansies that care to be understood think someone might read what they wrote.

****** proof reading is for pansies that care to understood

ELM works on the morning commute

Monday, January 25th, 2010

elm

Ran in to a co-worker on the train the other morning, so i sketched her as we rode in to work. I didnt pay enough attention to the woman sitting next to her. On the way home i was sitting in the train waiting for it to leave the station and a woman sat next to me, smiling warmly. She asked if she could see what i was working on, then asked me to see what i had drawn that morning. Dots connected i realized i had rode in with her as well. Funny how in the midst of paying attention you can fail miserably at paying attention. ELM, coworker in the middle, 2nd date (1 ride= one date, were practically going steady now), on the left Dude making notes.
dude making notes did less note takig then he did getting himself settled only to resettle himself minutes later repeatedly until i got off the train.

Booger picked up cat poo

Sunday, January 24th, 2010

So Im in the living room, scanning this Ges sketch i did while on a rath block. And i hear, “Ewwwww, that’s gross!”, from the kitchen. This is what you get booger for being a psycho  cleaner.  Apparently Booger had just thrown out some old and dead flowers and thought she saw a flower remnant on the floor. So she bent over to scoop it up and as she grabbed it, it was warm and soft to the touch. NOT flower remnant at all, but a little loaf of Suzy poo. YEAH, that’s not surprising or horrifying first thin in the AM. Well next time maybe your zeal and zeal for clean will me mitigated by you’re memory of warm fresh cat leavings.
Why Suzy is having issues with finding her litter box is an entirely separate issue that needs to be dealt with, I’m googling the Cat whisperer and get this sorted STAT.

geser

Just a rough up with not a lo of finesse time involved, like a quick cut at super cuts, a cheap lil shape up t convey the gist.

  • The biggest issue is the spacing, the initial GES are nicely backed in traveling size, whilst the er at the end are a lil more spread ot and getting ahead of itself.

the seat mate

Friday, January 8th, 2010

On a recent ride home from work i found myself in a train car sitting next to some financial type. Right as the train was about to leave the station a Larry the question asker recognized Freddy Financier and sat down facing him in one of those awesome forced interaction quad facing seating arrangements. Larry proceeded to run down a seemingly infinite list of mundane and useless questions. The line of questioning started with, after a breif greeting, “what are you reading, tax stuff?”
“No jsut catching up on some emails, i printed out before leaving work.”
talker

So right there you have it, in the response. I’m doing something that takes my attention. Larry however un-detoured plows ahead.
“What, do you work on wall street or something?”
“No but i am a stoke broker”, says Freddy, still looking at his stack of unread email.
“you must make the big bucks huh?”
“I hope to someday”, says Freddy. Its beginning to dawn on Freddy that he has a 35 minute train ride a head of him and all forecasts point to continued flurries of unavoidable questions. Best to dig in and brace for the storm. Keep your answers short and try to make then non leading. Anything you say can, and will be used to build follow up questions. The topics ranged from comparative to slightly intrusively inquisitive. I enjoyed the questions involving dress code for Freddy, who has to wear a suit everyday save for summer dress down Fridays where one can forgo the jacket portion o the uniform. The dress code took Larry a bit of explaining to understand, apparently at the Un office Larry works at he can wear what ever he wants, for hes sequestered away in some dungeon scanning documents, which by the way explained his mole like appearance and his awkward socializing. God love him. If it weren’t for these forced socialization’s some people wouldn’t come in contact with other people, even while surrounded by them on daily basis.

talker1

Word play

Wednesday, January 6th, 2010

Im a fan of anyone who can turn a phrase well, whit, vocab, irony… I read at a 3rd graders level but i love the word, solo or in a string. Some times a phrase appears in patterns randomly and they are stuck in my head. Usually I try to ignore them. Other times i try using them so heavily others around me pick them up so i can set them down…

 

sometimes 20 minutes in illustrator can work it out of my system, while providing a record of the phrase incase, against all odds it can be put to proper use in the future…

 

here To Stray 1

 

Here To Stray

 

 

“Here to stay”, marks a permanence, suggestive of commitments in the long term. Here, on the spot, to stay. “here to stray”, i came here to to go away, to leave? or to Go a way, non specifically, a way in general…

Miami: AKA land of the Infinite JACKPOT

Wednesday, December 9th, 2009

Tuesday afternoon i found myself on the E train heading to JFK. The E train sucks. the people on the e-train lack home training. A few high lights include but are not limited to; 40 minutes of repetitive gassing by someone in a serious intestinal battle, to the point the air took on a yellowed mustered gas hue. Ned the Nail clipper decided it was appropriate to clip his nails standing up in the middle of the car. What happened at home that you had to leave so fast to need to finish that portion of your grooming on the train? And how have your nail gotten so far away from you that they have reached the ‘these need to be cut right now regardless of my location’ stage?

Personal grooming on the E train from heavy lox on Vimeo.

E train, AirTrain, JFK NYC to Miami. American airlines also sucks, international and domestic flights all checking into a the same 4 tired over worked agent booths. lines of black hats, italians, hipsters, euro trash, Chipper Brits, angry americans (ill be in that category for this portion of the adventure), it was the noahs arc of travelers ready to be saved by the check in gods.

  • 2005, Cormac McCarthy, No Country for Old Men, page 86:
    You’re already in a jackpot, he said. I’m tryin to get you out of it.
  • My Miami expectations were shattered, in sense they were the first victims of what seemed like a 6 day gauntlet run at avoiding jam-up after jam-up. I thought i was going to the land of beach bums and 4:30pm dinner specials. What i got was a Dead downtown, with vacancies out the ass, but the urgent need to continue massive amounts of construction on the edges of the city as if they were preparing for a mass migration i was unaware of. A booming  vagrant community, only out numbered by the number of police patrol cars out and about. Miami PD would do well investing in oil futures. In NYC the police cars say “courtesy professionalism & respect” , were i to suggest a similarly ironic slogan for the Miami PD, “went green” comes to mind. Blocks and blocks of low rise housing projects, layed out but some drunk in the sun city planners that im sure planned the city on the beach with unequal parts Rum and left handed stick drawing in the sand by right handed individuals looking backwards into a shattered mirror. The Knaty has a GOOD sense of direction but even with I&iphone powered navigation we spent as much time in search of our destinations as we did at the destination. The journey was truely the trip and it took us in to all corners of the city save those the resembled any places ive ever been. In Hotel i saw on the news a burger King near us was robbed for the second time in as many weeks. When reached for comment the manager was quoted as saying,’ this time they had guns, last time it was only knives’. The next story was about a woman, also not far from us, who was gunned down in her idling car, by machine gun fire. In the process of her body being riddled with automatic gun fire her foot came off the brake and polcie arrived to a car drive in circles with a dead woman at the the wheel. So now im in the market to get a winter spot in miami. Did I mention while waiting for a friend to get some falafel I found i had inadvertently jack-potted myself into having front row seats to an 8 way tranny fight rivaling any jerry springer meets UFC in a WWF theatrical release intended for adult audiences only. To say the least i was stunned. To say a bit more i was confused and all of a sudden i regretted not paying attention in gender politics class. What is going on, is this assault or just a brawl involving costumes, my brain hurt trying to sort it out…There was at least one real woman involved, but she was huge and in no real danger of ending up on the losing side of any brutality, to the contrary she was handing out a sever ass whipping to a pretty stocking dude who it seemed threw the fisrt blow, at least ouside. The jackpot spilled out of the club. In fact as i was waiting on my my man to get his food there was what i thought was a hooker a door down form the food spot, basically inbetween the food spot and the club. Shelly thunder well call her, him as it may well be. At any rate shes posted up tossing he ass and hips around trying to catch anything with two legs walking by. Being amused at this slice of Miamica, i was watching. Shelly thunder saw me and tossed me an ass sashay. Your barking up the wrong tree here lady, im just here to take in the show, im audience not an actor, I thought. In my mind i was thinking it would be funny if she was hooking out side a gay club, she really would be barking up the wrong neck of the woods, little did i know i was about to find out it was a gay club of sorts, is at tranny club a gay club? shit i dont know how to classify it. anyway. Shelly thunder waltzed over the slip out of the club, where the bur-ha-ha was about to begin.

    lets go to the granny I&iphone Video:

    miamiISWild from heavy lox on Vimeo.

    StarBucks meet up.

    Monday, November 30th, 2009

    I was in an All My Bucks getting a lil coffee today and decided to sit for a few minutes to warm up and procrastinate going back in the rain to get back to work. I ended up seeing a guy I used to teach with. He was older and always kinda reminded me of  a modern day Ichabod Crane. 
    Ich was talking to a woman maybe a bit older,  coming soon.

    as they were talking another gentleman came in and greeted them. Which lead me to start thinking about the All My Bucks meets ups/ coincidental bump intos. I love the coffee but All My Bucks has such a gettem the drink and keep it moving kinda feel the attmepts at making a comfy place to  hang in seem overly forced and thinly veiled attempts at appearing laid back, when All My Bucks might rather focus on counting money and making more over priced coffee. However there are a number of folks who over look the ‘please stay seating’, or lack there of and do stay. They are All My Bucks regulars. Whats different about them is it seems more as though they are regulars amongst other regulars Not to the staff of the All My Bucks they frequent, maybe due to All My Buckss employees always being shifted from one spot o the next. It may also have to do with the staff and the patron bond is over. Employees want  a hassle free day, collect a check and go home, few of them strike me as the hang in a coffee shop types. There are also the Fashion all my bucksers who do it for the social status.

    Ole dude below seemed and accidental all my bucks meeter upper, who happened to run into some friends at a bucks, while i did see a new mom showing off her new trophy child to a new money suit who both were regular fashion bucksers who have run into each other enough to recognize each other but are really acquaintances …

    The ALL my Bucks is a strange brew of bed fellows. If it werent for an over priced cup of GOOD coffee id never know.StarBucks DudePhoto from the I&iPhone; served blurry fro your viewing pleasure.

    moleskine page updates…

    Friday, November 20th, 2009

    Update for Solitare Player

    kindle Reader

    1st Page In Red Moleskine

    This is one of the last pages i worked on while doing my subway commute. I remember it as it was the first time someone blocked the seat next to me so i could keep drawing with out being crowded, sort of. I was drawing in a filling train, a woman sat at the other end of the 3 seat bench near the doors. she left the middle seat open. As the doors closes she notice me drawing, think, and started a odd series of neck cranes to get a better look. When the next stop came people piled on to the train and just as someone was about to sit in between us she did this olympic slide towards me prevent the person from sitting. It was a move only a new yorker could pull. One of those We both know you jsut screwed me but im no trying to have at it with you so you win this round type scenarios. However finder herself with a front row seat to the bad drawing show she decide NOt to move back to her seat and whats more she kept getting closer to me. If ever so breifly it appeared as though she might soon be sitting on my lap; it didnt get that far. My stop came and i bounced.

    Back in the saddle;

    Wednesday, November 18th, 2009

    I havent been able to do much posting in the last week or so due to closing on a house and moving in; close on a friday, moved on saturday.

    Woke up friday morning went for a final walk through of the house, of course our flaky agent was late, as per usual, even though she suggested the time of the walk though… Almost ran out of gas on the way to the lawyers offices for the closing. After about 300 signatures and initials, keys, deeps and such were passed across the table. For months, MONTHS,  I have been waiting for the moment so i could finally let both sets of agents know how true incompetent and useless they are, how close to screwing the pooch they came on this deal and in the end No one got anything of worth out of their stalling, hemming and hawing and general mis-communication and unprofessional-ism ; But as im sure they are wll trained in avoided the rebuke they had managed to slip out of the closing moments before the actual finalization of the deal. FUCKERS! At any rate, after the closing car trunks and such were emptied into the basement of new house and then went back the apt to finish packing. Unfortunately Modern warFare 2 came out just days before and took up a bit of time, that should have been dedicated to packing. Blame XBOX.

    At 8:30 AM  the I&iPhone rang and the movers announced they were on the way but would be a little late, GREAT, i was groggy and could barely maintain my side of the 30 second conversation. Grabbed coffee quickly and surveyed the apt, Fuck the movers are not gonna be stoked on the amount of crap there was to be moved. They arrived. And Immediately freaked out and tried to old gaffe, this is more then what you suggested there was and thus the estimate is way to low. “We could call the office, but…”, was the give away. Boom West African living to the rescue; Game on! The crux of the situation was they wanted more money, and they framed it by saying if i agreed to tip them well they could avoid calling into the office claiming the larger job and thus individually could make more money and hide it from the boss while saving me what the elevated cost would be. Several issues immediately came to mind; first, I’ll not be jacked! We agreed on a an estimate and if the estimate was wrong then lets be upfront about it, however Ill not deal in beating around the bush. When you dont want to call it in, I get the impression were being shady. And in the face of Shady, Knatty stand Firm seen? you cant move I. Whats more is I have respect for anyone doing manual labor, shits hard work and under appreciated by most who dont take part in it; and as such i TIP. So i had planned on tipping my dudes, and tipping them even stronger on a job done well.
    I Think i took my dudes by surprise when i made i appear as though i was happy with them using the door they came in through to exit if they were gonna have an issue. A hostage situation it would not be. So we agreed, movers get taken care of when they show up ready to work and go hard and steady until the move is done, they get taken care of well, but if they want to ask for a tip before they even done shit, we were going to have an issue. BLOODCLOT! In the end My Dudes came though like champs.

    So after settling in over the weekend monday was the first day of the new commute, no more subway, commuter train for I. And shit is so much more civilized , its like night and day. this is the first drawing on the new commute. Its a much more close quarters type situation then the impersonal across the isle of the subway.

    Sleeper First new Commute