Archive for the ‘rambling’ Category

Lifes fortuitous accidents

Friday, March 19th, 2010

Recently ive been thinking about taking drawing into the realm of the characature in order to continue to lossen up and stop making drawings that are stiff and many times uninteresting depiction of the mundane. So as fate would have it for the first time in a year or so of drawing on the train i ran into someelse who draws in the train, while i was drawing on the train.
I was sitting ina 6 seater in an early afternoon train, which was pretty sparse in its passengers when some guy decided he needed to sit int eh seating row with me when clearly there were plenty of entire rows empty for him to occupy.

He proceeded to take out a sketchbook and pencils and announced he was ‘returning the favor’. He was so unassuming and nice that i had a hard time justifying feeling threatened but I did. Anyone whos willing to draw on the train or in public is an idiot like me or really good and confident in their work so as not to mind or be bothered by onlookers. As it turned out we were both getting off the train at the same stop so, after showing me his drawing of me i got his information, and went home and GOOGLED the shit out him (NH).  Looking at his drawing made me prety sure he fell into the 2nd category of public drawers and googling him confirmed it. He is a pretty fucking good  illustrator. And envialby makes a living drawing among other things (you bastard!). You can check him out at Peter Emmerich dot blogspot dot com

I have Long been a fan of caricature and its ability to flirt with both the cartoon and the classical potrait, but have never found the middle ground needed to successfully caricaturize people, but am going to make a concerted effort to figure it out. I did this as a start.

Life’s fortuitous accidents can really work to affirm your instincts.

St. patricks day…

Wednesday, March 17th, 2010

So i missed the fact that today was St. Patrick’s day until i got on the train and 35 teen agers trooped through the train car wear as much green as you can whilst still looking hip {read dudes = green hoodies and fitted caps, girls tighter then skin tight green stretch/compress pants. Were it a lil colder one might be able to make the argument then decency was more to keep warm then a fashion choice, but today will be in the mid 60s so summer gear is in effect and will be in greater effect as the embedding increases.
So i get off the train and am walking up the escalator to the street , when i see a sight that warms my heart, two teenagers are helping a lil cripple boy down the stairs. What a world we live in, a real selfless melting pot. As i got a lil closer to the good deed in progress i realized that the lil cripple boy wasn’t at all cripple but was just retarded drunk thus walking like a cripple. Oh thats right its St Patrick’s day, when its cool to get shit faced before, checks watch, 10am and be stumble drunk in midtown. I don’t ever remember having St Patrick’s day off from school, what the fuck are all these kids doing in the city?

Songs for P-fab

Friday, March 12th, 2010

I love music, i cant carry a tune if it came with handles and given the best Swiss time pieces i can still have problems keeping time. But i still love the music. I cant remember one song in its entirety no matter how many times i listen to it. But i love music and I would trade most of my other talents, such that they are for a good singing voice. However, god be praised, i now have P-fab, who loves to be sung to, or at least hasn’t yet developed the ability to tell me to shut it. Now babies like some repetition and haven’t heard a lot of decent pitched singing so my out of tune off time rantings aren’t irritating to her, yet.  And the fact that all i can remember is part of a verse and some of a chorus works out fine, as im as repetitive as a broken record. Partly due t o the fact that i cant remember lyrics i get to make up my own and apply them to what i think are pre-existing tunes (which i assure you are butchered; one could say I am to singing what Saddam was to Baghdad).

Childrens songs for Bed Time, by Heavylox:

On the Farm:

Scoot McGoot, She was a farmer from tennesse
she was a liberated girl
Drove her tractor while she sipped Hi-C
Never cared for hawaiian punch
She likes Sliced cucumbers with her lunch
Scooooooot MCgoooooot Laaa-la-la-la-laaaah

Inner City Love:

They call me thief and pirate, a bandit a tyrant
But i do it for you!
We need food and new school clothes, some heat in the appartment
So i do it For you!
Out on the block from the PM Hustling to the Am
I do it for you!
Six months on the Island and i come out still smiling
I did it for you!
Only 3 months of high-school but I’m nice with this rifle
I do it for you!
Im a drain on the world but i been given this pearl
So i do it for you!
it was a hard lesson but in you i see redemption
So i do it for you!

PeanutButterFly

Youre my little PeanutButterFly, Youre my little PeanutButterFly,
Youre my little PeanutButterFly, Youre my little PeanutButterFly,

Dont you know your the reason why, im so happy you arrived
sometime when you smile i cry, Youre my little PeanutButterFly,

Youre my little PeanutButterFly, Youre my little PeanutButterFly,
Youre my little PeanutButterFly,Youre my little PeanutButterFly,

Youre my little PeanutButterFly, Mommys birthdays in July
You can always look me in the eye, I will never tell you lie
So no matter what is done or said
from the start of each day well beyond its end, I will always be your friend
I’ll hold your hand and kiss your head, teach you how to count to ten

Youre my little PeanutButterFly,, Youre my little PeanutButterFly,
Youre my little PeanutButterFly, Youre my little PeanutButterFly,

**** i knew i forgot one.

Making Woopies:

Oh whats that whale, must be a back up
on the old * mile trail
Hey boss theirs a problem on the mainline
Dont worry son, well work it out from Behind
Push it out Shove it out Push it out
We got some woopies up north gotta move’m down south
Push it out Shove it out Push it out!

P-fab

THE E-Reader reading E-Stuff

Friday, March 12th, 2010

The E-Reader Reading E-stuff;

The new breed of Self proclaiming super intellectuals choose the E-reader to scream to citizens around them,

“Hey, im serious enough about my reading to spend $800 on a device that allows me to do the same thing as actually carrying a book, except now i could be carrying 100 books, of course i can still one read one at a time, but i can switch when ever i want!”

E-reader

Sushi Lunch and some racism or ig’nance.

Monday, February 15th, 2010

So i went to get some sushi for lunch the other day, after not eating to well over the prior few days due to a combination of anxiety and excitement. So i roll into my spot near work, and its crowded, more so then normal. I plan on taking out so im not to concerned. Im standing by the counter/ seating area and waiting for the dude working the register to finish so he can take me order.  Hes kinda of all over the place, but its cool since its crowded it doenst seem to be an issue; take your time. After waiting about 5-10 miniutes a couple walks in ansd stands behind me, waiting in line ot be served. They were there for a minute before the register dude turned around and asked them if they were a larger then two party and started to make moves to seat them. Well NOW hevs Not happy, this is some bullshit, at the least its a rude oversight at worst this fucker is a bit of a racist, like my order and money isnt as good as a nice Caucasian couples, and im not even dark. So It was time to get LOUD, we needed to get to the bottom of this. “excuse me what im invisible ive been standing here for 10 minutes and weve made eye contact when i came in, im the biggest person in the resutrant you didnt miss me, why are these people getting served first?”
“Oh sorry Sir, my mistake”
“your dam right it is, in fact deal with them i dont want you taking my order or dealing with me, you blew it” . Luckily for him i recognized a waitress I deal with regularly or enough for her to recognize me and she came over and got me my food with a smile and warmth that save ole boy from getting a severe talking to that would have attracted the attention of all patrins and the bose. I don’t like to affect anyone’s livelyhood so even in times of horrid service i try and hold my tongue since we all need to eat, but treat me like were in the old south and you’re gonna bring out the stereo type your scared of; especially if my English is better then yours.

Anyway while i cooled out i did a lil drawing.

Sushi lunch

Rich media you suck

Thursday, February 4th, 2010

Over the passed 5 days i have been trying to sort out how to make a particular type of rich media ad. Working with in the parameters of the ad vendor should be fairly easy. They have developed the ad type thus one would thing implementing it would be a piece of cake. Even if that piece of cake requires you to copy the code from a prior ad into  a new add so it has the same functionality. One would think that and one would be wrong.

Friday last a sent and email to Vendor X, saying. ‘ive copy/pasted your example code, can you look at it and tell me if its set up correctly?’

“thanks for your email we will have a look and get back to you this afternoon.”
Great, well get this thing sorted and be ready to move on to the next thing later today. As 530pm approaches and still no word, i try and take solace in the fact that maybe even though their area code is similar to mine, maybe just maybe they are not in office and thus have a different set of office ours so later today could mean tonight for me. I checked my again. Nothing. Time for a follow up email. Just checking up. At this point its the weekend IMO, 830-9pm I check my email. Yea new message in the inbox. Vendor no, full of apologies says issue will be sorted and a solution will be to us by Monday morning. Great. Weekend shit….

Now Monday rolls around, 9am, 10 am, 11am, no emails solutions. So its time to fire off an email again. Later that afternoon, we are alerted to the fact that vendor as passed issue on to the ‘tier 2 team’, oh shit son watch us work it out! Tuesday morning, 10, 11am, maybe ill shoot out another follow up email. Noon, my project manager send out an email inquiring about our previous inquiries. Sometime around 1pm Tuesday we get a vendor response, tier 2 will have a solution by EOD. Now im not holding my breath but, my middle name is Give-chances so were off to the races to wait for the race to resume. Surprising as it maybe EOD came and went with out and email from vendor.
We wont even bother to redundantly recap Wednesday, please see Tuesday and extrapolate.
Checking my work email first thing Thursday morning, inbox, i new message, form vendor, with attachment. There is one attachment even though i sent them two and need to parts to make the ad work. Not to worry lets have a look see. The email said Tier 2 had fixed some compile errors on line x,y,z blah blah. Ummmm the issue wasnt compile errors it was was the stucture set up in the right order and was the basic syntax correct. A monkey could press a button and have the program tell you how ot fix the errors, the email was talking about. Well that was annoying but lets have a look and see what was done. OH fuck i cant open the attachment as tier 2 saved it in a newer version of the app im working in. GREAT! I was able to have Preys open and resave the file backwards before Vendor could respond to my request for a older versioned file. So after 5 days of waiting i I open the file, so the email made no mention of solving my questions, but itll be in the file right? ummm as it turns out Not in the file at all. IN fact it seems that it took 5 days to change 1 set of Microsoft quotes into Unicode quotes, and the deletion of 3 orphaned open parentheses (“(“). What took 5 days all but amounted to 15 seconds of copy edit….
Im still waiting for my original question to be answered.

While there are a ton of awesome ads created by agencies using EyeBlaster Rich media services, the technical support provided by the Eyeblaster account team has been horrible. Not to mention that this is also a quick overview of their incompetence, it in no way shape or form details the extend to which they suck. Were i to attempt that, i would’ve mention the support call i arranged only to find that the support tech didn’t have the app we needed to use on their computer; I would also mention on the same call the seconds after the tech stated how straight forward all this was, she then went on to admit she hadn’t looked any of this code in a long time- even though i was told this was new ad type for them which suggests it hasn’t been around for a long time. Or she and i have terribly different views regarding time and its length… I wish viruses on all of their machines. I also wished this ad issue would have been sorted on Friday last, so i don’t hold much hope for the computers dying from some new computer virus…. So suffice it to say that Rich media you suck!

below is the sketchbook page thats been sitting under my keyboard for the last few days, Lots of spaghetti. Searching lines Divine Time. Doodle in your down time, and on conference calls. Theres nothing better then an 8 way project kick off call that really only requires two or three of those 8 or more people to actually discuss things while the rest of sit there uncomfortably listening to information that doesn’t in anyway affect what were gonna be doing after the call, which will waste 50 minutes but produce 3-5 minutes of actual business talk while the rest is nervous pleasantries and attempts at levity; How bout we sack the levity and get some brevity and so i can get back to work, thanks.

Searching Lines Divine Time

Mother skeme- “i dont doodle”
Skeme- “you DOOO doodle”

Hev- “with all due respect, Mother skeme, heavylox also doodles”

***PROOF reading is for Pansies that care to be understood think someone might read what they wrote.

****** proof reading is for pansies that care to understood

ELM works on the morning commute

Monday, January 25th, 2010

elm

Ran in to a co-worker on the train the other morning, so i sketched her as we rode in to work. I didnt pay enough attention to the woman sitting next to her. On the way home i was sitting in the train waiting for it to leave the station and a woman sat next to me, smiling warmly. She asked if she could see what i was working on, then asked me to see what i had drawn that morning. Dots connected i realized i had rode in with her as well. Funny how in the midst of paying attention you can fail miserably at paying attention. ELM, coworker in the middle, 2nd date (1 ride= one date, were practically going steady now), on the left Dude making notes.
dude making notes did less note takig then he did getting himself settled only to resettle himself minutes later repeatedly until i got off the train.

Booger picked up cat poo

Sunday, January 24th, 2010

So Im in the living room, scanning this Ges sketch i did while on a rath block. And i hear, “Ewwwww, that’s gross!”, from the kitchen. This is what you get booger for being a psycho  cleaner.  Apparently Booger had just thrown out some old and dead flowers and thought she saw a flower remnant on the floor. So she bent over to scoop it up and as she grabbed it, it was warm and soft to the touch. NOT flower remnant at all, but a little loaf of Suzy poo. YEAH, that’s not surprising or horrifying first thin in the AM. Well next time maybe your zeal and zeal for clean will me mitigated by you’re memory of warm fresh cat leavings.
Why Suzy is having issues with finding her litter box is an entirely separate issue that needs to be dealt with, I’m googling the Cat whisperer and get this sorted STAT.

geser

Just a rough up with not a lo of finesse time involved, like a quick cut at super cuts, a cheap lil shape up t convey the gist.

  • The biggest issue is the spacing, the initial GES are nicely backed in traveling size, whilst the er at the end are a lil more spread ot and getting ahead of itself.

the seat mate

Friday, January 8th, 2010

On a recent ride home from work i found myself in a train car sitting next to some financial type. Right as the train was about to leave the station a Larry the question asker recognized Freddy Financier and sat down facing him in one of those awesome forced interaction quad facing seating arrangements. Larry proceeded to run down a seemingly infinite list of mundane and useless questions. The line of questioning started with, after a breif greeting, “what are you reading, tax stuff?”
“No jsut catching up on some emails, i printed out before leaving work.”
talker

So right there you have it, in the response. I’m doing something that takes my attention. Larry however un-detoured plows ahead.
“What, do you work on wall street or something?”
“No but i am a stoke broker”, says Freddy, still looking at his stack of unread email.
“you must make the big bucks huh?”
“I hope to someday”, says Freddy. Its beginning to dawn on Freddy that he has a 35 minute train ride a head of him and all forecasts point to continued flurries of unavoidable questions. Best to dig in and brace for the storm. Keep your answers short and try to make then non leading. Anything you say can, and will be used to build follow up questions. The topics ranged from comparative to slightly intrusively inquisitive. I enjoyed the questions involving dress code for Freddy, who has to wear a suit everyday save for summer dress down Fridays where one can forgo the jacket portion o the uniform. The dress code took Larry a bit of explaining to understand, apparently at the Un office Larry works at he can wear what ever he wants, for hes sequestered away in some dungeon scanning documents, which by the way explained his mole like appearance and his awkward socializing. God love him. If it weren’t for these forced socialization’s some people wouldn’t come in contact with other people, even while surrounded by them on daily basis.

talker1

Word play

Wednesday, January 6th, 2010

Im a fan of anyone who can turn a phrase well, whit, vocab, irony… I read at a 3rd graders level but i love the word, solo or in a string. Some times a phrase appears in patterns randomly and they are stuck in my head. Usually I try to ignore them. Other times i try using them so heavily others around me pick them up so i can set them down…

 

sometimes 20 minutes in illustrator can work it out of my system, while providing a record of the phrase incase, against all odds it can be put to proper use in the future…

 

here To Stray 1

 

Here To Stray

 

 

“Here to stay”, marks a permanence, suggestive of commitments in the long term. Here, on the spot, to stay. “here to stray”, i came here to to go away, to leave? or to Go a way, non specifically, a way in general…